I'm now at the mercy of my local Home
Treatment Team. The psychiatrist I saw said this would be a
short-term approach, but I can't see my mental health improving with
this set up. I managed to have my shower this morning and planned to
walk to the corner shop to buy cream cheese for my cupcakes. But now
I have to wait for the nurse to visit to reassure her that I am okay
today. That I'm not going to harm myself. That I've taken my
medication.
How long is it going to take to make
these cupcakes? Yesterday was impossible. I took sleeping pills in
the morning to slow my mind down which left me drowsy all day. The
trip to the psychiatrist felt like a disaster. Now I've got nurses
visiting I feel like a prisoner in my own flat. The nurse who rang
this morning called me “miss”. I'm a fucking doctor! And yet I'm
having to do what nurses tell me to. This is not the natural order of
things. I know that must make me sound arrogant. But it is so hard
being a patient. I feel so angry.
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