Life seems to be
returning to “normal”. I saw my new psychiatrist this morning who
was pleased with my progress and am now hoping to return to work next
week. Looking back over the past month it's clear that food has
helped somewhat: maple syrup, apple and apricot slices, chocolate
cupcakes and home-made king prawn soup have all been key to putting a
smile back on my face! Animals, museum exhibitions and a variety of
healthcare professionals have also played a role.
This weekend London was
blessed with sunshine. We went for a long walk in the park, the
longest walk I've managed since becoming depressed again. Bluebells
are starting to crop up everywhere, and I enjoyed seeing them.
I enjoyed having the sun on my face. We even went shopping and
I bought a new dress. I enjoyed clothes shopping! Farewell
anhedonia, farewell.
Perhaps I am getting
overly excited. I can feel that my mood is still fragile and I need
to keep life simple for a few more weeks. I have an appointment with
Occupational Health tomorrow and will need to secure their blessing
before returning to work. As a doctor my biggest fear is being
rejected from my profession on the grounds of mental illness. Of
being seen to be unfit to practice. That fear is completely unfounded
of course, but it is still there at the back of my head. Patients
don't want mad doctors after all. But am I mad? Really?
On a positive note,
I've discovered a new edible antidepressant: scrambled eggs. Not just
any scrambled eggs. Start by frying up a couple of spring onions and
a red chilli in pan with a splash of olive oil (get rid of the seeds
if you can't take the heat). Once the onions are soft add a bit of
butter and scramble in three eggs. Perfect. Plus, it's not unhealthy
like cakes are. I had mine with rye bread, but if you're one of these
anti-carbohydrate freaks then it ticks all the boxes – although why
anyone would turn down authentic German rye bread is a mystery to
me...
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